There are loud and quiet stories we tell.
When I'm in person somewhere, I'm bold and sharp. You can see it, you can feel it, and you can hear it.
When I'm writing in English, I sound dull, boring, and very instructional. I almost can hear it: bo-bo-bo-bo-bo; like an old, sleepy professor of metaphysics.
English is my third language, and despite being able to speak fluently, I can't find my voice in it. I can't feel myself, I don't enjoy reading my own writing, and I can't recognize my fun and bold personality within it. My words feel completely leeched of life!
I strive to write casually and animatedly, but when my daughter proofreads my work, all I get is, "Mom, you can't say it like this."
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I CAN'T? UGHHHH... it's so frustrating!
I know that for many of you, the same can apply to your appearance. The way you look doesn't reflect your creativity and the person you are in reality.
A wedge has been driven between your appearance and your sense of self, and it feels like you've lost your voice with the people around you. People, who, as a result, lost the chance to get to know the real you. Clothing, similar to our language, has a quiet message of its own, speaking for us when words can't.
I know the feeling of failure and frustration that comes with the realization that "it's just not me out there."
How can I find my voice in writing? I am planning to take free-writing classes, I've bought some books about writing and storytelling, so I have a few tasks on my to-do list. I'm working on it, girl!
So what about you? When you look in the mirror, do you recognize the person that stares back?
I wish for you to have your voice and for others to hear it.
Is it on your "to-do" list?